Reality TV - A Spoken Word Piece on Ancestry.

I’ve been told that home to me was a village where my ancestors are, 

Up north and far

Where the last time I was there, I was five ...& in pigtails

Ignored by actual pigs in our backyard for trying to teach dinner how to high-five.

Fast-forward, 

I’m almost 20; ugh being pale is apparently pretty. 

But being like this…

Increases difficulty in finding suitors to… marry?

You don't have anyone? Here meet my son... But anthropology? wait you're not studying to become a doctor? 

............................

At least I now have the recipe… on how to cook 

The pigs; I’ve now grown to miss.

--

Confession: 

From then, till now I have never really learned how to properly pray.

It’s always been me saying what’s up hear me out… I have a lot to say --

Too / to, whoever’s out there in charge of signs – can you at least help me figure out mine?

From then till now, every morning my mom who got it from her mom honors them a shot of coffee & I wonder if they would stir it with the beauty they choose to see instead of the far college life of this mutiny. 

I don’t know, if their surveillance camera is strictly here, or everywhere. If they actually would only see me for the cigs replacing incenses, the bad I do & wear, this Balinese’ missing river-like hair, 

Surely never for my proses though, they said that those things they wouldn’t care.

This concept of ancestry had me thinking that we’re like a reality TV in other dimensions. I mean, Mufasa told us anyway that the great kings of our past look down on us behind constellations.

And I try to look up at the skies consulting my “Why”s as if all its glitters are wise only to find myself frazzled, suddenly awake at AM hours by the beach. Maybe if I lay by these sands long enough stars would actually fall to prance around giving wishes & answers away - A camouflage! My go to excuse for this head of bleach…

Maybe if I fly, 

In which I finally did for I too was trying to figure out on my own what a home is, when you only go back to your country once a year… But I swear despite such annual fear, when I glued my face to the windows they finally greeted in what seemed like a rain of fairy dust. Answering nothing else aside questions on their presence. Though, It’s unfortunate how our mother tongue is now Negativity for when I mentioned this they said I was just too sleepy.

But perhaps they too are sleepy from a lifetime of all seeing or so it seems & all they'd want from us are pleasant dreams, so who are we to speak on such behalf. 

 I got it from my mom, who got it from her mom, who got it from all of our moms before – 

to never give in to conventions 

      and expectations 

           and oppressions 

since betcha' they too wouldn’t want any of us 

their tv 

to be such a bore.